Some Camping Tips

• ·         When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
• ·         Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
• ·         Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.
• ·         A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
• ·         The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
• ·         Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine in his sleeping bag.
• ·         While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely un heard of. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
• ·         Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
• ·         You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
• ·         When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
• ·         You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
• ·         Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
• ·         A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
• ·         A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• ·         In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
• ·         The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• ·         Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read “Beat on a rock in stream.”
• ·         Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
• ·         A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.

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